The Maybe Baby

Years ago, the sight of a positive pregnancy test would have scared the crap out of me. Today, I find myself peeing on a stick much more frequently than I’d like to admit. I didn’t believe the first positive test. The second one got me overly excited. Then came the professionals. The pee test was negative, the blood test was “border.” What the hell is a border pregnancy?!

All I wanted to know is can I drink or do I have to prepare for this maybe baby. Well, I didn’t want to screw up day one, so I refrained. Even though I took a beautiful trip to California… Catalina Island… Downtown… Hollywood… nope, no margaritas for this lady. No bloody marys. No mimosas… no pancake shot with jameson, buttershots, orange juice and a slice of bacon… Oh what hell is this?! Another ginger ale please! 

Soberly I climb to the top of the LA observatory and my maybe baby leaves me. Nothing like watching a hormonal woman break down next to her sister while you try to watch a rare clear sunset above the LA sky. “Don’t mind me, just having a minor breakdown, please, go around, take your pictures.”

After I composed myself and took an extremely long nap the next day, I awoke with a new sense of self. It will happen, just not yet. I’ll see you soon maybe baby… until then… mommy’s going to enjoy a nice extra large glass of wine.


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